Spinning

It's funny how my toughts will stray
it happens mostly when I drink
my sense of self will lose its way
my mind can never cease to think

it shouldn't happen, this i know
for well intentioned souls like me
while dreams are faded; chances blown
denied my piece of destiny

i don't know what to do in life
it's more confusing all the time
forget my talents, find a wife?
or should i save up every dime?

this world is funny in that way
it smiles as it teases you
but all the while it turns each day
not caring if you're ready to

my life grows shorter with each year
yet still i always feel the same
it seems as though i'm losing here
and life is only now a game

a competition with myself
is what i like to think of it
but money power sex and health
are things that other people get

i hope to someday find the cure
to this disease inside of me
its beauty both unique and pure
will show me who i want to be