Well, that and a repressed sense of passion; the likes of which I've never been able to realize or express. I only continue to be plagued by duality. It's something I've been trying to work through with my therapist. After a year, I've come to realize I seem to be like two separate people trapped in the same body. Depending on my mood - or perhaps the moon - I want different things and hold different goals. I don't really know what I'm doing anymore. Sometimes I feel like a child trapped in an adult's body and other times I feel like an adult trapped in a child's body. There are really only a few things I can find that both sides of me have in common.
For one, no matter what my mood, I seem to desire peace. A sense of peace of self; a peace in society; a peace in the world; a peace in the universe... or multiverse... or whatever else. Either way, I just have this overwhelming desire to bring peace to this Earth. I know it's improbable. I know it's futile. I know it's incredibly unlikely... Just let me go on believing in my heart that it's somehow possible. Sometimes that's the only hope I can find.