Thursday, June 30, 2005

Do you ever...?

  • ... have someone cut in front of you in traffic? They are such an asshole for doing that, aren't they? But then you cut in front of someone like they did to you, and the person YOU cut off is the asshole because they didn't let you in sooner.
  • ... smell something good for a second and think it was you? So you smell yourself expecting a pleasant experience, but then you realize it wasn't you at all. You actually smell like dog shit.
  • ... understand the whole vampire thing? These people are dead, but they can live forever. They are sometimes said to morph into or from bats. They can see, even though bats are blind. How does that work? And can they drink all different blood types or does it just depend on the individual vampire's tastes? Then again, they're dead anyway so why do they need to feed?
  • ... wonder how the Bee Gees reach those unbelievably high notes without having someone clobber their testicles with a hammer first?
  • ... look at excrement and think about how someone had just paid to eat that?
  • ... stop to think just how amazing the technology of a telephone is? Your voice is turned into soundwaves which travel through hundreds of miles of cables in a split second, then transformed back into your actual voice within the recipient's phone. Don't even get me started on cellular phones and the whole satellite thing...
  • ... wonder what happened to that Micro Machines guy who could talk super fast?
  • ... talk to your boss for awhile and just nod along to everything he/she says. But throughout the entire conversation, all you can think about is how much of a stupid fuck this person you're talking to is?
  • ... wonder what it's like to make love to your hot cousin? If yes, which part of Arkansas are you from?
  • ... create an original melody or hook, only to hear someone else put it on their album. So you either insist on taking co-writing credit for that song, or you learn to despise that artist for stealing your material?
  • ... wonder why they chose to build Mount Rushmore in South Dakota? Someone at one point had to say "let's build it in South Dakota"... And what the fuck was wrong with that person?
  • ... watch cartoons on Saturday morning and feel like kid again, even if it's just for a half-hour?
  • ... wonder how many people are going at it on your hotel floor at any given time?
  • ... wonder how many people died today, and what their lives were like?
  • ... develop a crush on a fictional character? Then you fantasize about meeting the real-life version of that character, but you know in the back of your mind that it'll never happen?
  • ... insist that certain songs were written specifically for you?
  • ... pretend to open automatic sliding doors by waving your hand, as if The Force was at your command?
  • ... play Chutes & Ladders? I hate that big fucking chute that takes you back to the beginning. I ALWAYS land on it!
  • ... answer your own phone by saying "Domino's Pizza, this is Tim"? It's even funnier if you're a chick.
  • ... wonder how you want to die someday?
  • ... think about that best friend you haven't talked to since third grade, and wonder where they are now and what they're doing?
  • ... play out, in your head, your life in a parallel universe where you had gotten the courage to talk to the beautiful stranger?
  • ... wonder why MTV doesn't seem to have much to do with music anymore?
  • ... wake up from a deep sleep and not immediately remember where you are?
  • ... get laid? Apparantly you'd rather sit here and read my stupid blog.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005


Why do I sometimes feel like the universe is raining shit on me? My job. More stress than perhaps I've ever dealt with there so far. My co-worker is slacking off and intentionally trying to make me look bad. I also have to deal with irate patients all day. And let me just say, it's funny they're called "patients", because they never seem to have that quality. I don't use the hate word often, but that's how I feel lately. I hate my job. I told myself to stick it out as long as I can, but it's growing evermore hard. The job, you nasty perv...

My place. I find myself between three places at the moment. My old place, my new place, and my parents' place, where I'm staying until I get my stuff arranged in the new place. I finally got the old place cleaned up and emptied, and returned the keys today. It's always a weird feeling the very last time you leave a place that once kept your bed. For me it's always a mixed feeling. Sad that I will never see this place again, yet excited with the extreme sense of "moving on" in life. Finding a new place to mark as my own for awhile. I like the new place, but I'm dealing with some discouraging confilcts already. It's a long story, and I don't feel like going into it all right now, but basically I'm getting stuck with "the small room", which I AM NOT happy about. I've made that fact obvious to everyone. I can't even fit my stuff in my room. So after talking with Keely (my roommate) for awhile, we're finally getting to the point of making some compromises. We may move into a bigger unit, or we may just adjust the rent percentage accordingly (which I think may be what we'll end up doing). Getting jipped out of the good bedroom and the good bathroom, I feel completely fucked over having to still pay half of the rent. So we'll probably work something out where she'll pay about $15 more than me per month... something I offered to do back when I was planning to take the bigger room. At least that way, I won't feel so bent over and raped. I hope it works out.

Now on a lighter note, I am very looking forward to this weekend. The fourth has always been my favorite time of year. Something about the beginning of summer, the beautiful colors exploding in the sky, the sun hanging out until late in the evening, family and friends getting together and grilling hotdogs, dumbass motherfuckers blowing off their own extremeties with firecrackers. Good times... I love it. I'll be going up to my grandparents' place at the lake as usual. Every year, people around the lake try to outdo each other with their firework displays. It's a wonderful experience everytime, and it seems to get more impressive each year. At the drop of sunlight, we make a big fire down on the lakeside and watch the sky, while occasionally lighting our own stuff off of the dock. Last year, Jen and I went to pick some fireworks up at 7pm on the fourth. We got some excellent deals because the sellers of course wanted to get rid of them. So I plan on doing that again this year. It'll be fun.

Also, I just found out tonight that Esthero will be in town on Saturday night (07/02) @ Chop Suey, a bar/club downtown ( I've been wanting to see her for quite a long time. Considering how badly I want to go, I was surprised to find the tickets are only $15 each! So I bought two of them. I'm not even sure who I'll take, or who's interested, but I know I'll be there either way. After a week like this, that's a really nice little surprise to know I'll get to see her in a couple days. I just might invite Allison to go with me. Her and I seem to be hitting it off pretty well. In fact, for the first time ever, I'm content with my social life. Between Allison and Jen, I feel like I can finally relax a little and enjoy whatever situation comes up. And that's exactly what I plan to do. : )

Sunday, June 26, 2005


I will be back soon. I'm in the middle of a move...

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Social Herm

It occurred to me recently that I am a "social hermaphrodite". I have all the tools, but I'm not quite sure what to do with them. It's confusing. And sometimes I think I'd be better off just to go fuck myself.

Into The Night

time goes on into the night
the wind blows through your hair
a wave of rain falls at your feet
as ponds form everywhere

you can see the shadows shine
as clouds protect the moon
the streaking of the scattered light
will fade away too soon

they say two strikes a certain place
electric blue won't show
but here we are alone again
i hope that isn't so

we found each other in our dreams
so distant in the past
now the future's bright again
if we can make this last

Saturday, June 18, 2005


The date went well. Everything was smooth. We went to this nice place, called The Rock Bottom, and we each got a drink, and split an appetizer. Then we followed that up with another drink each and dessert. We talked and laughed about a lot of things, including movies and music. It was nice. After a couple hours, we decided to go catch a movie at the theaters right near the bar. We talked about going to see Star Wars - Episode III: Revenge Of The Sith, because she hasn't seen it yet. Unfortunately, it had already started a good twenty minutes earlier, so then it was between Batman Begins and Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Since neither of us are really Batman fans, we both agreed on the latter.

It was an interesting movie. A bit funnier than I was expecting, but not necessarily a spectacular film by any means. It still has a bit of everything: action, romance, comedy, shit blowing up, etc. And of course, let's not omit the obvious scheme of the whole movie, "I have an idea, let's get the two sexiest actors we can find.... hmmm, how about Angelina Jolie.... and... Brad Pitt. Then, let's make them ..... spies! People like spies. Besides, that will give them a good excuse to shoot people with guns. People like guns. What's that? A plot? Oh, it's not a big deal... we'll just throw some scenes in there where they're both half-naked. People will love it."

After the movie, around 1:00am, we walked outside into the middle of a rainstorm. With no umbrella, or even coats for that matter, we quickly walked the few blocks back to the parking garage. It was there we said our goodbyes and she hugged me. Me being somewhat socially impotent, I always handle goodbyes horribly and with as much awkwardness as possible. But struggling through this one, I hung in there. She told me to call her soon so we could get together again. I told her I definitely would and we went our seperate ways. It wasn't until almost 2:00am that I finally got home. Still soaked from the rain, I cleaned up, changed and quickly fell asleep. I had a lot of fun, but I paid for it the next day at work.


On about five hours of sleep, I was completely tired all day Friday. Work is still stressful, as our new help will be gone all next week, which of course means everthing will be on my shoulders once more. I left a message with my boss once more asking what she found out about the proposed raise. Haven't heard anything yet...

Friday night I went to dinner at my parents' to meet up with Rob and his family. We talked games a bit like we always used to do. We agreed that we should both pick up an X-Box 360 when they come out, so we can play together online like we always wanted to do. We all played a board game called Cranium. It's a fun game that I had never played before, so that was very fun. It was great to see him (and his family) again, and kind of refreshing. The only downside of the night was that I didn't get home until 12:30am - too late for Jen to come over. By that point, I was so tired I couldn't even work on my computer projects long before starting to nod off, so I just went to bed.


Today so far, I ran some errands... went to the bank, got gas, grabbed a few things at the store, mailed off some checks... and stopped by the new apartment to check it out, pay the rent, pick up the keys and sign all the papers. I have to say I'm a bit concerned with the size of "my" room. I have been under the impression that both rooms are about the same size, but that doesn't seem to be the case. Earlier, after discussions about different things, I told Keeley she could just have the bedroom with the connected bathroom that she wanted (even though I really wanted it too). She mentioned that she was getting a dog (which I'm also very concerned about), and that it would be easier "poop-training" (as I call it) the dog with a connected bathroom. Not wanting to make a scene out of it, I just told her it's no big deal and I'll take the other room. So now, my room seems almost half the size of the other. My bathroom is fine... also about half the size of the other, but still bigger than the one I have right now. On top of everything else, I kept hearing a rooster crowing. Yes, that's right. A fucking rooster. I don't believe I've ever had such a mix of relief with concern...

Tonight at 6:00pm, I'll be meeting my dad to have a chinese dinner with my grandparents and my aunt & uncle... all of whom I hardly ever see. They're all super religious (except for my dad) so I always feel a little awkward around that side of the family. I don't really have much in common with them, so I usually just try to tone down my vocabulary and spend most of my time listening instead of talking.

Something you will NOT hear me say tonight: "Hey Gramps, can you pass me the fuckin' rice? I asked Grandma earlier, but the beotch didn't hear me. Mmmm. Thanks... this damn fucking fried rice is good as shit!".

... And after dinner, I'll be going over to stay over at Jen's.

*Insignificant side note*:
While I was at Safeway, I found some TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) fruit snacks! Of course I wasn't going to pass those bad boys up, so I bought the 20-pack box. They're yummy!

Monday, June 13, 2005

Right On Schedule

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention a couple events coming up:

First off, I actually have a date on Thursday night. An actual date! With a girl. Her name is Allison and she seems really cool. We've exchanged a few emails, and we even chatted for a few hours last night. We're going to go up to Bellevue, one of the rich towns of the greater Seattle area, and get some drinks and appetizers. That should be quite interesting... especially since I'm socially retarded. I just hope I don't make myself look like a complete anus like I think I will.

The next night (Friday), I just found out that one of my closest friends, Rob, will be in town with his family. He's the one who had moved to Texas and gotten married a few years back. We've only seen each other a couple times since. His parents may even drive over from Idaho, and I guess they're all staying over at my parents' place. I hear they're interested in playing board games with us, somewhat of an old traditon. That's one of those little things I miss. One of those things in life you don't appreciate enough until it comes back years later and you think to yourself "hey! i used to love this! whatever happened to it?". Well, things change. I can't believe his oldest daughter is five already. Where does the time go? I feel old. But still, I'm looking forward to it.

On Saturday, I should be getting my keys to the new apartment. Keeley will be moving all her stuff in this weekend, but I'm going to start out moving the small stuff... whatever I can fit in my car, until the following weekend. Then, I'll get my dad to help me haul my big stuff over. Luckily, I don't have much big stuff anyway. I like to think I do sometimes, but I don't.

So my week is already going to be hectic, but I don't mind. In fact, it gives me the satisfaction of feeling like I get things taken care of and therefore, don't have to worry about any longer. In the meantime, I'm also looking into planning a visit to the doctor for a minor surgical procedure. That's been on my mind as well. More on that later...

Finally, I just found out that NIN ('nine inch nails', for you less fortunate) will be in Seattle on 09/23/05 @ Key Arena. This is something I HAVE to see, because I still haven't forgiven myself for not seeing them last time I had the chance (back in 2000). I've already emailed Wayne (a fellow fan) with the info and recommended that he plan a trip over here for that. So now, I need to worry about not getting screwed out of tickets. They're going to go very fast, I know it. This will also confirm my third concert of the summer/fall seasons. I already have my November 3rd Paul McCartney tickets (also @ Key Arena), and I just got my Rain tickets in the mail today (@ the Paramount Theater late next month). So I'm really looking forward to a good year of great music! :) ... And I'm not even counting what may come up in the meantime. If Mayer announces a new tour anytime soon, there are a quick couple more concerts to make. My dad and I almost planned to go see Tom Petty again, but we opted not to because neither of us are really fans of The Black Crowes (who are opening for him). Plus, we have Paul to look forward to anyway. :) In the meantime, I have my eye on plenty of other tours...

Sunday, June 12, 2005

So Much Sacred

It's about that time again. Time for another lengthy rambling. I know you people like reading these just about as much as I like having to write them. :P

It looks like I will be moving into my new apartment next weekend (on the 18th). At least, that will be when I get the keys, though I may not actually move my bed until the following weekend. The apartments are in Covington, Washington, which is not far at all from Maple Valley (where I'm living now). If you're interested, check out this link for more information:

I've been browsing online for a couple weeks looking for roommates, and it seems I found one that should work out pretty well. Her name is Keeley, and she's 19. She and I seem to have quite a bit in common, including the whole cleanliness factor (which of course is very important). I'll relay more information about this situation as I get it...

...I just got back from the studio a couple hours ago. My dad and I practiced for almost four hours. He keeps telling me how he honestly thinks I'm the best singer he has sang with, and he's sang with a LOT of different people. It's encouraging because I haven't even had much singing experience, but then again he's my dad... what else is he going to say? I suck? Though I will admit that when we sing harmonies on Beatles stuff, we do nail them pretty well. We plan on doing some recording soon. We had tried it a few weeks ago, but there were a few technical problems. This will also be updated as more develops...

And on a more personal note, I've been feeling somewhat strange lately. Some days I'm stressed out, some days I'm depressed, some days I feel content, and other days I'm sedated. It's an odd combination of all these things in an unpredictable pattern. It sucks but it's somehow refreshing at the same time. Either way, life should be a much less stressful by the end of the month.

Oh, and by the way....

Because of my new lease I will be signing, it looks like I will be staying in the Seattle area for at least ten more months.

Monday, June 6, 2005

T - 365

One year from today, the date will be June 6th, 2006... or, more simply, 06/06/06.

If there is any truth at all to Revelations, then perhaps this world is down to its last year. Roughly two thousand years have now passed since Christ was believed to be killed...

"Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is 666." (Rev 13:18)

I think about this and wonder how many people are worried about the upcoming date. How many people have given a thought to it? If ever there was a time for armageddon, would that not be it? At the stroke of June 7th, I would discredit the entire belief system. How could it still be valid?

But until then, we will not know for sure. Perhaps we should take a look where we're headed. Perhaps our time IS almost up. Perhaps we should be ready for anything. Perhaps we should not take the next 365 days for granted... just in case.

Wednesday, June 1, 2005

Q & A

An important question was put forward today:

Do you think He-Man could take on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

This was my reply:

"I think when he raises his sword to summon the power of Greyskull, Leo would stab his bitch-ass right through the chest, and kill him until he dies from it. Then, of course, Mikey would take a dump on his carcass... because let's face it... we all know what a funny crazy guy he is. Then Raph would make a joke about it, saying something to the affect of "That was easy as shit". Don would then leave the room, and who could blame him? I mean, he IS the smart one. then Splinter would be all "Hmmm... kids". "

...I realize now that there may be something wrong with me.