Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Thought Of The Day

Guns are not the problem. The problem is that people want to use them.

Monday, August 25, 2008

One, Two, Three... You're Out!

I don't hate anyone in this world. There are many people I have little or no respect for. But hate? No.

The way I have learned to deal with anyone who seems to cause problems for me: I just cut them completely out of my life in all aspects, and move on. I break off contact... step one. Rid myself of any connections I may have with them... step two. And part with the sentimental items I've kept in the past which I still associate with them... step three. Then, I forget them and move on to brighter and better things. I don't ever give them the satisfaction of holding my attention, good or bad.

"Hate is baggage. Life is too short to be pissed off all the time."

Friday, August 22, 2008

Weight Up, You Guys!

There are so many contests nowadays regarding weight loss. "Whomever loses the most weight will win [enter name of latest electronic fad here]!!" You see them on television, you hear about them in your community, or through work, or through school, or in any other social setting. These weight-losing contests are all over the place.

I don't believe people should be rewarded for doing things they should have been doing in the first place. For example, there's a man who is lazy, unmotivated and unable to control his own eating habits. He finally learns how to balance these things at forty years old, and he's rewarded and treated like some kind of role-model? I don't get it. What about all the people out there who have exercised and eaten healthy for years, never letting themselves become overweight and unhealthy in the first place? Where are their rewards? It's a fucking stupid idea to celebrate the lazy in this world, and it's unfair to everyone else. "But the rewards are just meant to help motivate people to become healthier.", you might say. Well, those who have little or no weight to lose don't even get an opportunity to win the prizes at all in these contests. And if anyone truly deserved a reward for their hard work, it would be these people. Shouldn't the desire to avoid heart disease, diabetes, stroke, fatigue, high blood pressure, cancer, asthma, sleep apnea, gallstones, and high cholesterol, among many others, be enough motivation for us to try a little harder to control our weight? No? Fine then, how about the desire to just look good naked?

I guess only when there's a free iPod to be won...

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Garbage In, Garbage Out

Here's an easy way to help make a difference: Make a point of picking up at least one piece of litter each day and disposing of it properly.

If everyone did this each day, we would collectively be picking up somewhere in the vicinity of 6.7 billion pieces of trash every day! Now imagine if everyone picked up more than one piece per day and made more of an effort not to litter in the first place. We would quickly have a litter-free world to enjoy. It wouldn't be that much of an effort for us as individuals to do our part, as it hardly takes any energy at all to dispose of trash properly. Unfortunately, too many people in this world are too lazy to even make that effort. It's really very sad.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

A Material World

Let me clue you in on something: Materialism essentially equals low self-esteem. The more you find yourself equating happiness with wealth and accumulation of possession, the less your level of self worth.

Whenever I see someone walking around decked out in flashy jewelry, designer clothes, a fancy watch, etc, I never envy them. I do not automatically have respect for them or assume they are rich, which is no doubt what they aim for by wearing these things in the first place. Instead, my very first thought is always that this is a person who has an extremely low self-esteem. This is someone who thinks so lowly of themselves, in fact, that they feel the need to dress up in shiny valuables in order to feel more important and accepted in society. All that matters to these shallow people is how others view them, and I find that very sad and pathetic.

It's overkill. It's unnecessary. It's lame and insincere; phony and sophomoric. It's all pretentious bullshit and it's everywhere around us. I'm sorry to tell you, these material things you surround yourself with will not make you happy. Only you can make yourself happy, and it doesn't cost a thing to do it. All it takes is an honest look inside yourself and the willingness to become something better. If you do this, you will soon find that you don't really need these material things at all.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

The Incredible Adventures Of Kelbo, The Pathological Liar - Chapter 1

I suppose it all started when I was five years old. It was July of '85, and I had just finished writing my first book. It wasn't a novel really, just a modest collection of musings and anecdotes. You see, I was often called a child prodigy in the literary world. Day after day, I would lock myself in my room, staring at my autographed Richard Simmons poster for inspiration, and writing page after page of my random thoughts and experiences. By the time I was fifteen, I had already written twenty-five best-selling books and become a self-made millionaire. My most famous book, 1001 Ways To Castrate A Gerbil, sold seven million copies alone! Unfortunately, by sixteen, I had lost my passion for writing. It was no longer a challenge for me. I had switched my focus to other projects in life.

I decided one day I would join a professional rowing team in Panama and study calligraphy. I lived in a small log cabin, just on the edge of a beautiful river. It was so beautiful in fact, that the sun left a golden trail every evening upon sunset, and the mornings were full of happy little chirps and calm waters. I lived there for just over four years, until the day I was picking special Panamanian raspberries in my garden, and got pricked by a thorn and contracted West Nile virus. At the time, I was unaware of the virus and kept picking raspberries until collapsing. I awoke in a local hospital and was forced to eat lemon-lime JELL-O for thirty straight days. My nurse, a transexual trumpet-player by the name of Gilda, was good to me. She would fluff my pillows each night and sneak me issues of my favorite magazine, Coitus Weekly. When I had finally recovered from my illness, I was sad to say goodbye. But she and the doctors wished me well and bought me a brand new baseball mitt, a pair of rubber gloves and a gallon of vaseline as parting gifts.

The following day, I left Panama and headed north, towards my home in the United States. I felt it was time to move on in life. New adventures would surely await me...

Saturday, August 9, 2008

There May Be Something Wrong With Me

You know when you finish brushing your teeth thoroughly, and the gooey white toothpaste residue has dripped down the sides of your mouth? Do you ever put down the toothbrush, glare into the mirror, show your most sadistic grin, and pretend you're an immortal day-walking vampire who just fed on the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man?


Just me?

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

One Small Thought For Man

In my opinion, the best thing for the human race right now would be to discover alien life. The moment we finally have solid evidence of a species from another world out there, people will finally begin to see how full of shit religion is.

There's nothing I'd like better than to see this disgusting world of religion turned upside down. All these phony, power-hungry, hypocritical individuals trying to force-feed us more of their bullshit explainations. Explainations, no doubt, created merely to discourage us from anything resembling questioning or logical conversation. No free thought allowed.

I would love to hear the christian church (not capitalized on purpose) try to explain why, as it turns out, we are not the superior of God's children after all.

The moment of first contact; the discovery of, or communication with other life in the universe, will mark the beginning of religion's downfall. And I can think of no greater possible "giant leap" for mankind.

Trent Speaks Out On Fur!

One more reason I have an enormous amount of respect for Trent Reznor:

Thoughts To Think About # 12

A person may find success in their work, but their true success shines in their passion.