Thursday, October 28, 2004

Viva Loss

one more lonely night in paradise
the clear night sky fills with light
how can my emptiness exist
where billions of neon flashes fill my sight

i walk aside myself in a land of fun
surrounded by a thousand other versions of me
all trying to escape the emptiness
we are the castaways, floating in the desolate sea

i pass by one, and then another
some ecstatic, floating in the clouds above
some are grim with empty pockets
none of them can grasp the concept of love

why did this feeling contaminate me?
why can't i just go have a blast
why is it that my stupid mind
can only dwell into the past?

i feel like giving up this time
there is no reason to exist
when everyone around me floats
and all i want is to be kissed

no one will ever understand
the thought that love is not a reality
though some will argue i am wrong
my outlook makes it quite clear to me

a loser in a town of sin
there is no better place
for me to drink those tears away
that stream along my face

my life is coming to a close
one moment at a time
though many moments still remain
i'm spending every dime

i will enjoy myself one time
if never once again
so i may smile when i recall
the places i have been

tonight is something magical
although i'm here alone
the music, lights and pretty girls
combine to set the tone

i'm feeling good and feeling high
for once more in my life
no thoughts of sadness, death or tears
no thoughts of pills or knives

i wish this moment to go on
forever into the night
in this city of a trillion bulbs
my heart is shining bright

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Covered In Clarity

Well it's been a long time. In fact, I was a naive 24 year old the last time I even bothered to post anything... Here I am a mature 25, and my mind is full of new questions and thoughts. The first one that comes to mind:

My last post ("Something Blue")....... what the FUCK was that all about?

Moving on...

Like a crowd gazing wonderously at the peak of St. Helens... things are looking up. My rock candy is melting as I fill my head with visions of rainbow light. To succumb to my random thought process, I feel the need to revert to my favorite "Short Takes" style of blogging. So here goes:

* I am all moved into my new apartment now. I'm living with my cousin Geoff and his girlfriend Amber (who as it turns out, just became one of my co-workers!). As much as I'd love to continue living alone, I decided the experience would be good for me in many ways, not the least of which the fact that I will be saving over $500 a month. I've been enjoying it even more than I first thought I would, and I can still enjoy my privacy because the bedrooms are on opposite sides of the place, and I even have my own bathroom behind my bedroom door! For those of you that care, I will share a picture or two of the new place soon.

* Regarding work... I recently got a raise. Yay! This is especially nice because I didn't expect one, and I've also been having to work a bit of overtime the last few weeks. I have a few days of vacation coming up soon, so I'm looking forward to that.

* Things I'm excited about (in no particular order):

1. Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas - comes out today! I've been waiting for this game for quite awhile now, and plan to spend hours playing it. I decided to wait until I get back from my trip to get it.

2. John Mayer (as/is) - This live album is a compilation of stuff from John's 2004 summer tour. Apparantly it's a limited release that's in stores today. I ordered it a week or so ago, and just got my copy tonight! I'm listening to it right now. :)

3. Van Halen - I'm going to see them here in Seattle on Friday night. I've been wanting to see them for a long time, and it should be fun. It's nice to see Sammy back with the guys!

4. Team America: World Police - I plan on seeing this movie the weekend after next (I'll be out of town next weekend). I'm a huge fan of Trey Parker and Matt Stone's work! They make the funniest stuff around, so I'm sure I'll love it. And whenever there is a movie made entirely with marionettes, and they have to cut out a sex scene to get an 'R' rating.... well my interest is peaked. lol

5. "When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?" - This is the new book by one of my favorite people, George Carlin. When things slow down I will pick this up because much like his stand-up, his books never disappoint. On a side-note, I've recently downloaded a couple of his books in audio (mp3) format. I believe he even got a grammy for "best spoken-word comedy album" on one of them.

6. Sex - ...... ummm. Well okay maybe this doesn't really belong on this list, but hey... it excites me so I had make a note of that.

7. New albums - Still waiting for John Mayer's and Trent Reznor's (NIN) new albums. Both seem to be sitting on next spring.

That's mostly where my mind is right now, so I'll get back to life. I plan on posting more often now, so if I don't, be sure to kick my bitch-ass. I have a couple "pre-developments" I'm in the process of considering for the very near future. One of them involves a "social makeover and complete self-improvement " kind of thing. I'm sure I will talk more about that as it develops. So anyway, take care and may the forces of evil become confused on the way to your home.


"You're never gonna hear me talk down about 'Wonderland', because it's the reason I'm skateboarding in my apartment right now. It may have lost me a bit of the male contingency... I can skateboard in my kitchen."

---John Mayer

Referring to being labeled a "sensitive-songwriter" (from a radio interview in Los Angeles).