Wednesday, March 23, 2016

The Royal Blues

"Hey, I just thought of a perfect nickname for myself: "Prince Fuckface".

"Prince Fuckface" would be a perfect name for me because I aspire to grow to be prince-like someday. All Regal-like and stuff. Not in a literal way... Not in that It's-2016-so-why-the-fuck-are-all-those-countries-still-doing-that-royal-shit kinda way. But just in more of a basic sense... As if the concept of social status was relevant whatsoever to the quality of individual character in the real world... Yeah, I aspire to be a prince. Someday, perhaps I'll reach that summit. But until then, I'm mostly just a fuckface.

Friday, March 11, 2016


Thanks to therapy, I've recently discovered a hidden trait of mine. 

I mold myself to my surroundings. I only show the sides of myself that my instincts tell me are most beneficial to those around me. Co-workers get the professional me. Friends might get the goofy or generous me. Strangers might get the awkward me. Family gets the upstanding me. My wife gets the loving me... etc, etc, etc. I keep hidden certain parts of myself depending on who I'm interacting with. In that sense, I'm constantly changing; a social chameleon.

It actually makes more sense to me now as to why I've always struggled with my sense of identity. It was always hard for me to understand exactly who I am, what I want, and why. Even though I'm always searching for these answers, I've never found them. Perhaps there's a simpler reason for this: I'm essentially metamorphic.