Rain, Rain, Go Away (And Take Your Friends With You Today)

American Idol

Will you please go away? Stop torturing me with this nonsense. I don't give a shit about any of these people at all! Or where they're from, what their criminal history is, who they're fucking this week, why they got booted from the show... I give less than a shit about any of it and I wish it would just go away.

Besides, we need to have the media concentrate more on school shootings, family killings, child raping and abductions, animal torturing, religious war, environmental pollution, and the threat of worldwide bio-terrorism. You know, all the really great contributions from humanity.

Britney Spears & Kevin Federline

Why are these people still making headlines? Is the average person's life so bankrupt that they need to live vicariously through others? How sad that is...

Britney reminds us time and time again how to be a moronic white-trash psychotic. I never had the impression that she was a bright individual, but honestly... is she actually losing points from her double-digit IQ every week? Perhaps she should take a lengthy timeout from her publicity-whore tactics (of which she no doubt learned from Madonna), to regroup and begin some intense therapy. And to 'K-Fed'... dude, they're called condoms. Check them out sometime when you're not busy being a dumbshit. They might help you to not have four bastard children with two different women running around. (Or whatever the tally is up to these days...)

Paris Hilton

If I haven't said it yet, congratulations for becoming famous for having a rich daddy. Maybe you should set aside a few of those dollars and take a couple driving classes. How the fuck did you get a driver's license in the first place?! Oh yeah, I almost forgot. You're rich.

By the way, I did see that video just out of curiosity, and I can't help wondering if you're as boring in person as you are in bed. You're not even that hot, so enough with the glamour-shot posing whenever a camera is in your face.

Sean Combs (a.k.a. "P. Diddy" / a.k.a. "Puffy")

Dude, you're not as cool as you think you are. Rich, sure... but not cool. And what's with all the jewelry?! And the fact that you throw a huge birthday party for yourself every year? Are you really that much of an egomaniac? Do me a favor and ask someone how to properly wear a cap. You look like an idiot when you wear them sideways. Also, you may be a decent producer but your rapping sucks balls, man. If I were you I'd stay on the other side of the sound-proof glass. Then again, I wouldn't be buying fur either. ... Ass.

Oh and one more thing... how about you just pick a fucking name and stick with it!

Ann Coulter

Now, I don't often use the "c-word" in everyday vocabulary, but Ann Coulter is a fucking cunt. I just can't think of a more accurate word to describe her.

...And You Don't Know Me (Entry 1)

I still have the stubs from every movie I've seen in the theater over the last thirteen years or so. I've also kept all of my concert ticket stubs. Someday, I hope to make some kind of elaborate collage with them all.

Across This Antheap

Soldiers, workers, slaves and farmers,
Nurses, queens and drones.
Wish they'd leave my head tonight,
Let me rest my bones.

A billion feet sound just like a billion drums.
A bed is creaking as the messiah comes.
The cars are crashing and the bacon is hacked.
The coffin's lowered and the lunches get packed.
Still segregating 'cause we insects are too proud.
Doesn't matter what colour of cat you are there's no dogs allowed.

And the screaming sky won't let me sleep.
The stars are laughing at us,
As we crawl on and on across this antheap.

War planes go over but no wages go 'round.
A sign goes up to say hey we're twin towned.
The dough is rising but no bread will be baked.
The fur is genuine but the orgasm's faked.
We're spending millions to learn to speak porpoise,
When human loneliness is still a deafening noise.

And the screaming sky won't let me sleep.
The stars are laughing at us,
As we crawl on and on across this antheap.

Soldiers, workers, slaves and farmers,
Nurses, queens and drones.
Wish they'd leave my head tonight,
And let me rest my bones.

And all the world's babies are crying still.
While all the police cars harmonize with power drills.
As jets and kettles form a chord with screeching gulls.
Accompanied by truncheons keeping time on human skulls.

And the screaming sky won't let me sleep.
The stars are laughing at us,
As we crawl on and on past lovers who'll leap.
On and on past widows who'll weep.
On and on no more than skin deep.
On and on across this antheap.

(On and on and on...)

"Across This Antheap" by XTC (1989)

I'm Not What I Appear To Be

You will never ever hear me refer to anyone as a "loser". This is a term that has always disturbed me whenever hearing it, and I refuse to take part in the labeling of another human being as a loser.

When you call someone a loser, you are implying that there are actually "winners". And although some people seem to be more successful than others in this world, I don't believe that entitles them to an automatic "win" in life. Success itself is in the eye of the beholder. It means something different to everyone and cannot be measured in any one definitive form... monetary nor otherwise. Yet somehow we have decided as a people that some of us - most often those with the most money - are winners. The rest of us? Losers.

In life, I don't believe we are in competition with each other. Instead I believe the only ones we compete with are ourselves. We look inside ourselves to figure out what we need to fix and improve. This is the only true way to grow and evolve into something better. If only everyone could see the world the way I do...

There are no losers or winners in life. There are only people who have different life experiences than you do. We all come from different origins. Different backgrounds, different families, different areas, different cultures... we have different beliefs, different outlooks, different bodies, different minds... we do different things, know different people, listen to different music, eat different foods...

We all struggle through different obstacles, different losses, different illnesses, different conditions, and deal with different levels of personal devastation.

The next time you find yourself so quick to label someone a "loser", take a moment to realize you don't actually know a thing about them or what they've been through.

Then realize you aren't remotely close to perfect either.

In The Corner

There is something you may not yet know about me...

One thing I fear the most is the experience of feeling stupid. I grew up with that very experience time and time again, and I believe it had a huge part in shattering my self confidence as a young teenager. There is nothing worse to me than feeling like an idiot, and over the years that is exactly what has guided me to be smarter than I am. I know much more today than I did even five years ago. At 27 I now have the mentality of an average 45-year-old; the wisdom of the average 60-year-old. I have finally reached the point where I can feel security in my intellectual abilities, even if just a little bit. I can finally begin to build up my long-devastated confidence. I am in this process now, but it has come with a hefty price. My internal need to evolve seems to have cost me a normal adolescence... a normal social resumé... normal experiences...

More simply, my fear has cost me a normal life.