Saturday, October 18, 2008

Gimme Shelter

There is a pet store in my hometown named Pets Are People Too!. I've always agreed with that sentiment. Whenever my family has had a pet over the years, we've always considered them to be members of our family. I think that's the way it should be. Pets are really not much different than children, in fact. They're alike in many ways. They need lots of attention and care. They need to be fed, sheltered, cleaned up after... sometimes brushed, sometimes bathed, etc. They are just as much a member of your family as you are.

This is why I have such a problem with people selling and buying animals; breeding them for profit, mostly. I find it appalling and extremely sad. Millions of animals are put to death every year because they can't find good homes. Yet at the same time, you have a bunch of these shallow bitches and uncompassionate fucks who literally buy into all of this "purebreed" nonsense. Canines especially get the shitty deal when it comes to this. Would it be alright to treat children this way? I don't see a difference. Should we sell our children to people for profit? Should we charge more if certain kids are a "purebreed" of certain ethnicities? If you're even the tiniest bit compassionate, this concept should sound completely appalling and ridiculous to you. That is how I feel about the breeding-for-profit of pets.

Please join me in refusing to accept this horrid practice any longer! If you'd like to have a pet, great! But please, please, PLEASE visit your local shelter first! You'll find many great animals who would be ecstatic to finally have a caring family and a loving home. They will appreciate you giving them a chance at a new happy life, just as much as any human would. They will be your best friend.

The bottom line: Going to the shelter will not only save a life, it'll save you a lot of money! It's better for everyone!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Oh, Golly!

Does Sarah Palin remind anyone else of Principal Victoria in South Park, whenever she speaks?

Monday, October 13, 2008


Dear Senator McCain,

Throughout this historic race for the presidency of the United States of America, I can't help noticing that you continually express contempt for your opponent, Senator Obama, because he never uses the word "victory" when referring to the war in Iraq. This is where I have a problem. In my opinion, there is no "victory" in war. Ever. In any war, nobody wins and the entire world loses.

This "victory" you and your insincere, hypocritical sidekick speak of does not exist. The only productive way to work out the differences in the world must be through diplomacy, not military action. I'm just your average middle-class American male. I don't have multiple homes or hold any political science degrees. I don't host parties for the wealthy and elite, nor do I own a fancy tailor-made suit. But even I have figured this shit out. I seek peace and prosperity, not conflict. And I believe far and away that the vast majority of the world's population does too.

Everytime you talk about victory in war, it scares me. Especially since it's too often followed by thunderous applause.


P.S. The American public is much smarter than you give us credit for, and we see right through your bogus misleading claims. (But if we do end up sending you to the White House, I'll retract this statement.)

P.P.S. Oh, and can you please teach your running mate how to properly say the word nuclear? Thanks.

Full Of It

You know all those people who compete in eating contests around the world? Do you ever wonder how many times a year these people clog up their toilets when they're practicing at home? Do you wonder how much money they spend annually on toilet paper?


Yeah, me neither. I was just asking.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Karma Chameleon

It may not always be too obvious to others, but I consider myself to be the world's biggest advocate for Karma. Good or bad, I love to see people get what they deserve. At the drop of a hat, those around you will remind you again and again that life isn't fair. In my experience unfortunately, it seems to be true. So many good people out there seem to get shit on in everyday life, while some real pieces-of-shit sorry excuses for human beings seem to be rewarded often for the misery they bring to others. We see it in politics. We see it in the celebrity-worship scene. We see it everywhere. This is one reason I have such a difficult time believing that a benevolent god, or any for that matter, exists somewhere out there.

If I were God, embracing Karma would be at the top of my things-to-do list. Everyone would get exactly what they deserve.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Back To Life

If it's one thing that this seemingly world-wide financial meltdown is teaching us, it's something that I've already been aspiring to most of my life: a more simple and more enjoyable life.

"The things you own end up owning you."

It may be a random quote from a random movie - which would be David Fincher's Fight Club - but it's a very true thought to keep in mind. Although I have never been one to surround myself with the "finer" things in life: fancy clothes, fancy cars, fancy dinners, etc, I have recognized that I still have things around me that I simply don't need. I have been gradually unburdening myself of these things that take up unnecessary space in both my home and in the back of my mind. Until you try this for yourself, you won't understand how much more refreshed and free I've been feeling with each item I've learned to let go of. And I've been thinking for a long time now that the rest of the world, and most particularly my American neighbors, should give it a try and learn to free themselves from the plastic and gold prisons they so often create for themselves.

Now the economy is tanking world-wide. Now people can't seem to afford the oversized houses they bought, or the gas-guzzling vehicles, or the over-convenient electronics, etc etc. The media is sharing stories about "ordinary" folks who are deciding to simplify their lives by cutting back on all the excess, seemingly trying to portray them as groundbreakers; economic role-models who are sacrificing so much. It's all bullshit. None of us should have been buying into all this consumer excess in the first place. For a country full of self-proclaimed Christians, we don't seem to mind being greedy, status-symbol one-up-er compulsives. I thought I had always heard that things don't make you who you are; that money can't buy happiness...

Maybe I'm the only one who heard wrong.

Then again, maybe I'm the only one who's been paying closer attention.

The Legacy Of "W."

Saturday, October 4, 2008


I rarely go to the theaters to see movies anymore, but this is one I have to see and give my full support to. (I'm going to today!) It's about time someone had the balls to put something like this out, and I hope people really give it a fair and open-minded viewing (most won't, of course). No doubt many of the extremist, religious fanatics of the world are protesting and complaining about this film right now. I guess freedom of speech is something those people don't truly embrace.

Nevertheless, since losing my hero, George Carlin, earlier this year, I think Bill Maher just became a new one for me. Yet I have always had respect for him because of his courage and willingness to question and analyze whatever the people of this primitive world spit out at him.

Great job, Bill! I am supporting you 100%!