Wednesday, June 29, 2005


Why do I sometimes feel like the universe is raining shit on me? My job. More stress than perhaps I've ever dealt with there so far. My co-worker is slacking off and intentionally trying to make me look bad. I also have to deal with irate patients all day. And let me just say, it's funny they're called "patients", because they never seem to have that quality. I don't use the hate word often, but that's how I feel lately. I hate my job. I told myself to stick it out as long as I can, but it's growing evermore hard. The job, you nasty perv...

My place. I find myself between three places at the moment. My old place, my new place, and my parents' place, where I'm staying until I get my stuff arranged in the new place. I finally got the old place cleaned up and emptied, and returned the keys today. It's always a weird feeling the very last time you leave a place that once kept your bed. For me it's always a mixed feeling. Sad that I will never see this place again, yet excited with the extreme sense of "moving on" in life. Finding a new place to mark as my own for awhile. I like the new place, but I'm dealing with some discouraging confilcts already. It's a long story, and I don't feel like going into it all right now, but basically I'm getting stuck with "the small room", which I AM NOT happy about. I've made that fact obvious to everyone. I can't even fit my stuff in my room. So after talking with Keely (my roommate) for awhile, we're finally getting to the point of making some compromises. We may move into a bigger unit, or we may just adjust the rent percentage accordingly (which I think may be what we'll end up doing). Getting jipped out of the good bedroom and the good bathroom, I feel completely fucked over having to still pay half of the rent. So we'll probably work something out where she'll pay about $15 more than me per month... something I offered to do back when I was planning to take the bigger room. At least that way, I won't feel so bent over and raped. I hope it works out.

Now on a lighter note, I am very looking forward to this weekend. The fourth has always been my favorite time of year. Something about the beginning of summer, the beautiful colors exploding in the sky, the sun hanging out until late in the evening, family and friends getting together and grilling hotdogs, dumbass motherfuckers blowing off their own extremeties with firecrackers. Good times... I love it. I'll be going up to my grandparents' place at the lake as usual. Every year, people around the lake try to outdo each other with their firework displays. It's a wonderful experience everytime, and it seems to get more impressive each year. At the drop of sunlight, we make a big fire down on the lakeside and watch the sky, while occasionally lighting our own stuff off of the dock. Last year, Jen and I went to pick some fireworks up at 7pm on the fourth. We got some excellent deals because the sellers of course wanted to get rid of them. So I plan on doing that again this year. It'll be fun.

Also, I just found out tonight that Esthero will be in town on Saturday night (07/02) @ Chop Suey, a bar/club downtown ( I've been wanting to see her for quite a long time. Considering how badly I want to go, I was surprised to find the tickets are only $15 each! So I bought two of them. I'm not even sure who I'll take, or who's interested, but I know I'll be there either way. After a week like this, that's a really nice little surprise to know I'll get to see her in a couple days. I just might invite Allison to go with me. Her and I seem to be hitting it off pretty well. In fact, for the first time ever, I'm content with my social life. Between Allison and Jen, I feel like I can finally relax a little and enjoy whatever situation comes up. And that's exactly what I plan to do. : )

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