Monday, February 13, 2006


A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

There was a conference of executives. All the top guys and gals from Hallmark, Russell Stover, Zales and 1-800-FLOWERS were there. Here's the summary of the meeting:

"Ladies and gentlemen, our businesses are not taking off like we originally hoped. I suggest we create a new holiday to help promote our wonderful products; a way to force guilt and obligation into the minds of the consumer sheep out there. It'll work, I swear! Who's with me?"

I guess I just don't get the point of Valentine's Day anymore. Perhaps I do understand the intention - a day to celebrate love - and I can appreciate that more than anyone can. But I'm tired of all the misconceptions surrounding this overrated day. And no, I'm not bitter because I'm alone blah blah blah, or anything like that. So don't bother going there.

It's just that Valentine's day is anything but romantic. Romance equals spontaneity. There is nothing spontaneous or romantic about feeling obligated to do something for your supposed "love". These flowers, these cards and these chocolates are not given out of sheer affection. They are given out of expectation; a way to feel like a duty was fulfilled. Well, I say it's all insincere, meaningless bullshit. And here's a question for you... If two people are so "in love", why do they celebrate it only once a year? I like to think that if I found the right person I would shower them with loving attention every chance I get. I would surprise her with an impromptu ticket to paradise. I'd bring her home or cook her dinner when she least expects it. I'd give her a small gift on June 3rd. You may be asking, "What's June 3rd?". My point exactly... Love isn't supposed to be on a schedule. It's supposed to be in the moment. But maybe I'm the only one who thinks that way...

Oh and just for the record, men don't particularly enjoy Valentine's Day. It's primarily for the woman's benefit. She gets to be wined and dined and showered with gifts. He gets... to pay for it. Oh sure, if a married man is lucky, he might get his yearly blowjob later on that night. And maybe even *GASP* sex after that! He can dream, can't he?


Here are some random bonus observations regarding Valentine's Day:

  • V-Day rhymes with "D-Day".
  • The initials for Valentine's Day is 'VD'.
  • It's exactly halfway through the shortest month of the year.
  • That Cupid character is stupid. And 'Cupid' rhymes with 'stupid'. Coincidence??

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