Friday, December 30, 2005

Vehemence (Chapter 1)

Lately I've begun to think I might be buy-sexual. I'm still not into dudes or anything, I just feel like I can't get laid unless I'm paying. The sad part is, I don't often get paid either. To get paid AND laid... how nice it must be to be rich.

Another thought occurred to me today. More of a question really...

You know when people have their stereos cranked for the whole neighborhood to hear? (sometimes from a home, but usually it's a car) I notice it quite often around here, and my question is this. Why don't they ever play anything good?? It seems to me if you're going to play something that loud, it might as well be something people actually enjoy. Then again, how loud does your stereo need to be in order to enjoy the music? Most of you already know me as the one who says "...and listen to it loud because it makes it even better.". I know how volume can increase the experience, but these people seem to surpass that level a hundred-fold. An $8,000 stereo system in a $400 piece of shit car... very impressive. And look at him, he knows how to press down really hard on the acceleration pedal. If I were a woman, I'd sure like to bear his children. These people are obviously mentally ill, and in my opinion, completely stupid. When I am to actually hear STP's "All In The Suit That You Wear" being broadcast from a convulsing '87 Toyota Tercel, I'll still think the guy is a fucking moron. But at least I'll know he has good taste.

And to the lady who leaves her shopping cart in the middle of a parking space... Lady, if I were a bird I would totally take a shit on your head, and then laugh at you for being stupid and covered in shit. I understand, you probably exhausted yourself by walking your 300-pound-ass through all of those Wal*Mart isles while having to simultaneously push a cart full of doritos, oreos, nacho chips, diapers, baby formula, frozen pizza, dog food, doughnuts, cereal, 48 rolls of toilet paper.... and a case of Diet Pepsi. Somehow, I'm sure you can't muster the energy to push the empty cart back to the "return cart here" lot 20 feet from your minivan. Don't worry about it. Just leave it in the open lot adjacent to your vehicle. It's certainly none of your concern. Who cares if it knicks up someone else's car, not your problem. (By the way, you are a stupid lazy bitch with a big fat ass... and you should NOT be breeding).

I guess it's true what they say... you shouldn't bottle your feelings inside. I actually do feel a little bit better already. And I have plenty more to add of course, but I'm not in the mood right now. I'm going to get ready and hit the town tonight. Not sure where, but it's Friday night and I want to do something, so I'll catch you all later.

P.S. Oh and by the way, the other night I sat down and wrote out some lyrics for a tune that's been playing in my head. I guess that means I may have actually written a song. More on that later...

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