Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Sterile Way To Heaven

Okay, I have an interesting story to tell...

Today I had another appointment. I had to take another "sample" in, this time to the doctor himself. Ten minutes or so after handing the cup o' chowder to the nurse, I was called into one of the rooms. My doctor explained to me that my count is actually pretty low. It's not very likely I will be getting anyone pregnant. He reminds me (and of course I already know) that it's still a possiblilty because it only takes one. He said that if I still wanted to do the procedure, we could go ahead and do it today. It sounded great to me because I want that guarantee that I won't be knocking anyone up. And since I have the day off, it seemed like the perfect day to get it over with. So I did.

I can't say I've ever experienced anything quite as uniquely awkward as that. It involved me getting undressed from the waist down while showing off my junk to the doctor and his assistant. Now of course it's nothing unusual to them, as they go through that probably every day, but I still couldn't help feeling a bit embarrassed. Then the real fun began. Following a short warning, I felt a sting (shot of numbing agent) and a bit of squeezing. The squeezing was not exactly delightful, but only because I wasn't quite numb all the way yet. After a few more minutes of discomfort and flashes of mild pain, the procedure was done. But there was a bit of bleeding (which of course is to be expected with any incision). So after a few minutes more of holding gauze to the now stiched-up cut, I was ready to get dressed and get the post-vasectomy antibiotics on my way out. Little did I know, the experience was just beginning...

I got dressed, grabbed my things and made my way out to the hallway, where I asked one of the nurses if I was all done. She looked in my bag to see if they gave me the pills and extra gauze, etc. She mentioned something about another sample cup (for me to use for the follow-up test in three months). I told her I didn't have that yet, and that it might be what my nurse had left to get. All of a sudden I began to feel a little light-headed. I knelt down in the hallway and leaned against the wall slightly, opting to give myself a couple moments to shake of the mild dizziness. She asked if I was alright. I told her I get light-headed sometimes and should probably sit down for a couple minutes. She agreed and gave me a little stool with wheels, on which I sat down and leaned against the wall. She then asked if I wanted some "water or something". I told her that might be a good idea.

This was the last thing I remember...

What followed I can only describe as flashes of hyperspeed dreams. I remember the feeling of dreaming while flashing in and out of consciousness. I remember my doctor looking me in the eyes and saying my name loudly, almost on the verge of yelling. Although I could see and hear him, I was busy that moment not only trying to remember who and where I was, but attempting to separate reality from a dream. I did acknowlege him briefly, but continued to jump the line of consciousness.

The next thing I remember, I was lying on a low bed/table in one of the rooms. The doctor was over me again, saying my name and asking if I can see him. I told him I could. Then I started losing consciousness again, but before I could, he give me a light slap in the cheek to bring me around again. He continued to ask me if I could see him. I told him I still could. There were four people standing around me and watching my every move. Two of the nurses were taking my pulse, one with each arm. They were studying their watches and relaying the data to the others in the room. It was then I began to notice I felt very hot. In fact, I was literally sweating. I told them this and they took my sweater/jacket off. They continued to monitor my pulse. And about that time, one of them said it was at "43", at which time they looked at each other with this look that I interpreted to mean that I wasn't doing very well. And I remember wondering at that moment, "Am I dying here?". I had no idea what was going on, and I thought that to be quite interesting. I didn't know what happened, but I'm the one it happened to.

As I started becoming more and more awake, they began to tell me that I had passed out on the floor and began seizuring. Apparantly they had half-carried/half-dragged me into the closest room and onto a bed, all the while I continued to seize. I guess it lasted for about 15-20 seconds. It wasn't a major seizure like some people have, and I didn't seem to have any head trauma or anything, which is good. But still I almost didn't believe them right away because that has never happened to me before... as far as I know. But as I started to get the blood back into my brain, I began cooling off. My pulse began to rise and I became more aware. They kept talking to me about what happened, and the doctor told me he wants to send me to the ER to have me checked out. He was worried it may have been an allergic reaction to an antibiotic I had just taken immediately after the procedure. So they called the paramedics.

A few moments later, two paramedics showed up and found out what was going on. There was talk about calling an ambulance and a firetruck (as part of their textbook procedure). But the funny thing about this... The hospital was right across the street from the building we were in. So the guys called off the ambulance - which they said would have taken 15 minutes to get there anyway - and opted to just take me over in their own medic-truck. This decision probably saved me a grand in bills, so I made sure to express my appreciation. But as they hauled me there in a stretcher, I felt like such a tool. So helpless. By this time, I probably could have stood up and walked on my own, but they didn't want me to. Nevertheless, once again...... I ended up in the Emergency Room.

There's not a whole lot else to really report, other than they kept me in the ER for a couple hours while running a few tests on me to make sure I'm alright. The fainting/seizure was thought to have been a simple reaction from the numbing agent shot I received an hour earlier. And since I've had a history fainting after shots - of which I told them about - I think it's probably a pretty accurate assessment. Apparantly it is not as uncommon among patients as it seems.

I left the hospital and drove straight home. I called up my boss first, told her what happened and that I won't be in this afternoon, and that my doctor recommended I take tomorrow off as well. Then I went to my parents' house to collect some money my dad got for me today (paying me for the work I helped him with) so I could pick up my antibiotic prescription.

I'm back home now. I'm feeling much better, aside from some mild swelling due to the procedure itself. And... I have my ice pack. I stopped and rented a few movies for tonight and tomorrow, so I'll have plenty of time to rest. Oh, and for once I'm pretty happy about not getting laid this week. It's the last thing on my mind right now...


  1. glad that everything went well in the end..

    i know all about fainting spells..i hate and my brothers have them all the freakin time..

    a question though..if you don't mind me asking..when you were laying there, asking yourself if you were did it make you feel???..were you scared or content or just in a mode of euphoria???

    you don't have to answer..just wondering is all..cos i have a sick thought process and i was curious..hope you don't take into offense..

    anyway..glad you're doing good..*hugs*..and thanks for sharing..hehe..

    i love reading your blogs ;)

    *hugs and kisses*

    ro :)

  2. DUDE, Holy Crap. I'm glad you're back to normal. One of my co-workers went to the ER this morning, so I guess it's just one of those weeks or something. Rest!

  3. Thanks. hehe I AM getting plenty of rest.

    And Ro, I actually felt pretty calm and aside myself. Almost as if it were happening to someone else.