What I Am

what it seems is that my dream
and life can never be a team

what i plot is what i'm not
and what i need, i haven't got

what i find inside my mind
are painful thoughts of every kind

what i see can never be
my tangible reality

what i hear will not appear
and make me all the while secure

what i drink, i like to think
will spray away my putrid stink

what i smoke, and being broke
won't free me from this awful joke

when i cry i know that i
will not feel joy before i die

what i am is not the man
who lived inside my perfect plan

what i know has yet to show
now i have nowhere else to go

when i'm gone you'll all go on
and ride your sunlight into dawn

The Maddening Shroud

It's kind of funny how I never cease to amaze myself...

Reaching far out for the seemingly unattainable
Underestimating myself time and time again
Never stopping to realize that I am just not right in this place

Depression, frustration, loneliness, repression...
Everything bad that one can expect in life
Everything but the good I still strive for
Pessimism, hopelessness, ignorance and isolation
Enter now through the gates of my existance
Real or fake? True or false? Good or bad?

These lines are blurred many times over
Has the world decided to play a universal prank on me?
Are the steady laughs intentionally dispensed in my direction...
Never allowing me an inside glimpse at the punchline?

You say that Karma is a universal constant
Our little way of justifying the randomness we all unknowingly share
Unforgiving energy from the Heavens, cloaked in benevolence

Keep to the true and sincere path
No cheating allowed; you must not stray
Or you will pay a handsome price
Why must existance be so difficult?

The Holiday Spirit

Everyone I know loves the holiday spirit. When the annual gift-shopping season rolls around each November, people suddenly become nicer to each other; more appreciative and friendly. They feel more willing to reach out a hand to those in need; more willing to shower those around them with gifts and feasts and love. There is a different air around us in those times. And we all love it.

So I can't help but wonder...

Why don't we all just do that year-round?

Comic Of The Day

Random Thought Of The Day

Explaining the sensation of achieving that perfect high after a couple drags off the ol' pipe to someone who has never smoked, is much like trying to describe color to a blind person.

Mix CD #23

Yes, yes. Good, good. I realize it's hardly been a week since my last mix. That's just an indication of how much new stuff I've been listening to. Also, I had a few overflow tunes from mix #22, so they're here too...

• "Punkrocker" - Teddybears & Iggy Pop
• "Treat Her Like A Lady" - Cornelius Brothers & Sister Rose
• "Light My Fire" - Jose Feliciano
• "Don't I Hold You" - Wheat
• "Bag Lady" - Erykah Badu
• "In High Places" - Mike Oldfield
• "Don't Know Why" - Norah Jones
• "Get Down Saturday Night" - Oliver Cheatham
• "Gentle On My Mind" - Glen Campbell
• "He Loves U Not" - Dream
• "Play With Me" - Extreme
• "Break Of Dawn" - Michael Jackson
• "Summer Breeze" - Seals & Crofts
• "The Trumpet Part II" - Lou Bega
• "Self Control" - Laura Branigan
• "Now & Forever" - Vanilla Ice
• "Baby Elephant Walk" - Henry Mancini

Filmosophy (Vol 4)

Vanilla Sky:

"What is the answer to 99 out of 100 questions? ... Money."

The Devil's Advocate:

["What about love?"]
"Overrated. Biochemically no different than eating large quantities of chocolate."

Lost In Space:

"Never love anything kiddo, because you'll just end up losing it."

American History X:

"Hate is baggage. Life is too short to be pissed off all the time."

Almost Famous:

"You have to make your reputation on being honest and unmerciful."

Terminator 2: Judgement Day:

"The unknown future rolls toward us. I face it for the first time with a sense of hope. Because if a machine - a terminator - can learn the value of human life... maybe we can too."