Intoxication

And so tonight
I'm home once more
stumbling through
my battered door
it seems my one
motivation
is looking to
intoxication
this night i find
something i've missed
no one to hold
no one to kiss
i never will
at least it seems
for this will come
only in dreams
this drink i have
my only friend
and he will cause
my early end
tonight i know
i want to die
and misery mixed
is "me is Ry"

Burned

To the one who made me sad,
I still remember you
I can’t forget the things
We always used to do
Though yes, I realize
The saddest thing with that
Those memories we have
…my head is where they’re at

‘cause in reality
we never did those things
we lived a million lives
we had all that love brings
we kissed each other often
we ran along the beach
I grabbed the thorny rose for you
When it was out of reach
We always laughed out loud
When we would watch a show
We’d dress up heavily and
Go out playing in the snow
I’d run my fingers through your hair
And hold you when you cried
I’d wrap you in my favorite quilt
When it was cold outside
I still recall the look your eyes
pierced deep inside of me
When we were at the altar
…Of all eternity
Our honeymoon was magic
The moment of my life
When I was truly happy
To have you as my wife
Those first few years were scary
When we had our two kids
But we stuck with each other
And I’m happy that we did
The kids are all grown up now
With children of their own
you and I are still right here
together, all alone

I love you in our other life
The one that isn’t true
The one that could have saved the world
my dark and lonely view
But so you know, I do not blame
The things you did or said
I blame myself for all the dreams
That burned into my head

Little One

Don't be scared, little one
you have nothing to fear
though you feel alone
i am always right here

Don't you worry, little one
of things you'll go through
life may bring challenge
yet bring me to you

Don't you cry, little one
wipe your tears away
you miss being held
love will find you someday

Don't be sad, little one
for you have come far
you need to stand up
and see how great you are

So you see, little one
things will be fine
and someday you'll share
this outlook of mine

After all, little one
this much is true
there are millions of people
who wish they were like you

26

I wrote this tonight, 'cause it's finally clear
I have twenty-six reasons why I am still here

A is for Answers I'm trying to find
to questions that taunt, and torture my mind

B is for Beauty in all of our lives
so put down the pills, the needles and knives

C for the Caring we all need more of
so we can trade war for peace; hate for love

D is for Doing the best that you can
when you are dealt the most challenging hand

E is for Everyone I wish were here
so I could laugh with them and buy them a beer

F for the Families we're all glad we've had
our sisters and brothers, our mom and our dad

G is for Gentleness we all must show
to help our relationships evolve and grow

H is for Helping out others with things
to show them the joys their lives just might bring

I for the Intellect I must strive for
to know all the things that I want to... and more

J is for Joy, the kind that I'd miss
if I were to suddenly cease to exist

K is for Kindness we need to provide
to help tame the demons we all keep inside

L is for Love that we all wish to find
and leave all our misery and pain far behind

M for the Magic that said Love will bring
and will give you the life of a queen and a king

N is for Noble, as I will try to be
full of courage, honor, generosity...

O is for Others who help you through life
your friends, your kids ... your husband or wife

P is for Pleasure you find in the places
you'd never expect; the pain just erases

Q is for Quiet, which sometimes we need
so we can relax, ease our minds and/or read

R is for Recreation; we all need some fun
so go and make your life an interesting one

S is for Special; we all want to be
and to that certain someone you ARE, you see?

T is for Touch ... the most intimate act
and it's also my favorite sense, in fact

U for the Unity, I would love to see
bind us together to be peaceful and free

V is for Valiance that lurks in us all
it gives us power and makes our fears fall

W for the Wisdom I constantly seek
I learn day by day... week after week

X for eXcitement that life can bring you
and will, if you just give a chance for it to

Y is for Yesterday and days that have passed
with hope we will learn from them and make this last

Z is for Zeal we all keep inside
for things we believe in, both far and wide


It looks like the alphabet has now reached it's end
but life will go on and will never stop, my friend
So with all of that said, go out and be true
to family and friends, most importantly...YOU
there is no need to lie, and no need to steal
after all, we are just passengers on this big wheel
there is no need to hurt, and no need to kill
...no need to live off of our bottles and pills
So don't feel down ... don't be depressed
take all your thoughts, get them off of your chest
You may be surprised, you may be happy
which makes it worthwhile in end, you see?

Today's Pic

Custom NIN Mix

NIN – “Closer To Numb” Mix

Left:

01 - Somewhat Damaged

02 - The Day The World Went Away

03 - The Fragile

04 - The Frail / The Wretched

05 - Something I Can Never Have

06 - I Do Not Want This

07 - A Warm Place / Eraser

08 - Piggy

09 - Help Me I Am In Hell

10 - Self Destruction, Part Two

11 - The Beauty Of Being Numb

12 - Eraser (Polite)

13 - Leaving Hope

Right:

01 - The Frail (Version)

02 - We're In This Together

03 - Gone, Still

04 - The Big Come Down

05 - Eraser (Denial; Realization)

06 - The Persistence Of Loss

07 - The Day The World Went Away (Quiet)

08 - Gave Up

09 - And All That Could Have Been

10 - La Mer / The Great Below

11 - The Downward Spiral (The Bottom) / Hurt (Quiet)

12 - Adrift And At Peace

A New Day

This morning, I rose to a beautiful sun
with empty bottles and memories undone
My head was cloudy; my thoughts all entwined
Attempted to sort out the thoughts in my mind
Turned off the alarm, and rolled out of bed
Wiped sleep from my eyes, and emptied my head
limped down the stairs and stretched out my arms
fixed up a big bowl of my Lucky Charms
sat down to eat like I do everyday
yet something was eerily different today
I finished my bowl and walked back upstairs
And went to the bathroom, if anyone cares
Went back to my room…only to find
A cute sleeping girl, in that bed of mine
She looked like an angel, her hair was a mess
My pants hid the table, the floor had her dress
How did this happen? Where did we meet?
How did I get lipstick marks on my feet?
Where does she live? And what is her name?
We must have made love…was drinking to blame?
I cannot recall, what happened last night
Did we talk for hours until the daylight?
Did she pick me up like a big heavy drinker
And reel me right in… hook, line and sinker?
Did I seduce HER? With my wit and my charm
And leave with this hot little thing on my arm?
I’d love to recall how this all came about
because I have suffered a long-standing drought
to see that this hottie was sleeping with me
makes me feel all tingly; for once… happy
Should I wake her up? Should I lay back down?
Should I run in happiness all over town?
Should I take a picture? Run hands through her hair?
Or should I just leave her and let her sleep there?
I can’t wait to see how this day will unfold
Will she be the one I will forever hold?
Will we be in love when we’ve grown up and old?
I hope luck was with our new dice that we’ve rolled…