The Gamecube

I finally bought my Nintendo Gamecube today! I can't wait to enjoy this new system...

Ghetto Commandments

What if Jesus and Moses were from the ghetto? Maybe the Ten Commandments would go something like this:

1st: Thou shalt not cappeth a mother fucker.
2nd: Thou shalt not fucketh with my bitches.
3rd: Thou shalt not giveth mad props to homies.
4th: Thou shalt not stepeth to me, or thus might blast thou fucker.
5th: Thou shalt not cheateth on your bitch, no matter how fineth this other ho's booty is.
6th: Thou shalt not front like a punk-ass bitch.
7th: Thou shalt not say things like 'Fuck' or 'Shit' or 'Yo Mama'. For example "Yo Momma and that piece of shit, Samson, are fucking." is unacceptable.
8th: Thou shalt not listen to thy Puffy.

[unfinished]

Mariners Game

Sunday, September 30th, 2001 @ Safeco Field

Oakland Athletics - 3

Seattle Mariners - 6

Attendance -  45,674 / Duration - 2:50

Highlights:

• The Mariners won their 111th game of the season!
• Aaron Sele won his 15th game of the season, giving up only one run over seven innings and striking out eight.
• John Olerud hit his 20th homerun of the season.
• Ichiro Suzuki hit homerun #8.

Game Details

Mariners Game

Saturday, August 25th, 2001 @ Safeco Field

Cleveland Indians - 2

Seattle Mariners - 3

Attendance - 45,818 / Duration - 4:07

Highlights:

• Extra-inning game. Mariners won in the bottom of the 11th inning.
• Freddy Garcia pitched eight solid innings, giving up only two runs and striking out five.
• John Olerud and Stan Javier both hit doubles for the Mariners.
• An incident late in the game between Indians shortstop Omar Vizquel and Mariners reliever Arthur Rhodes almost caused a brawl. Here is an excerpt from a random news-source:

"Vizquel complained to the umpire about diamond earrings worn by Seattle reliever Arthur Rhodes. Vizquel said the sunlight sparkling in the earrings was distracting him at the plate. The umpires asked Rhodes to remove the earrings and Rhodes protested. Both benches cleared and Rhodes was ejected, though no punches were thrown."

 Game Details

Mariners Game

Tuesday, August 7th, 2001 @ Safeco Field

Toronto Blue Jays - 4

Seattle Mariners - 5

Attendance - 45,636 / Duration - 4:37

Highlights:

• Joel Piñeiro pitched 7 innings, giving up only one run and striking out 11.
• Edgar Martinez hit his 15th homerun of the season.
• Carlos Delgado homered for the Blue Jays.

Game Details

Today's Pic

Mariners Game

Thursday, July 12th, 2001 @ Safeco Field

San Francisco Giants - 3

Seattle Mariners - 4

Attendance - 45,696 / Duration - 3:39

Highlights:

• David Bell hit his 10th homerun of the season.
• Barry Bonds hit his 40th homerun of the season.

Game Details

Mariners Game

Sunday, June 3rd, 2001 @ Safeco Field

Tampa Bay Devil Rays - 4

Seattle Mariners - 8

Attendance - 45,390 / Duration - 3:16

Highlights:

• Bret Boone hit his 11th homerun of the season.

 Game Details

[untitled]

I'm not sure what the hell I'm thinking right now. I know I'm drunk, and that's about all I know right now. I can't stop thinking about how I want to have this perfect girlfriend. I want her to be so perfect. I imagine her and I are going to see a movie tonight. When we return from the movie, we will sit on the couch and talk about the parts of the movie we liked the best. Then I will kiss her. She totally won't expect it. That's why it will be so phenomenal. She won't expect it. And I want to make love to her. I know I have this strange fear about that. I think I'm genophobic. But I really do want to make love to her. I want to catch her off guard and kiss her when she doesn't know it's coming. I've been thinking about my future girlfriend a lot lately. The problem is that I can't think of what she's like. I want her to be real. I want her to be real. I really do. I wish she were real. I'm really bummed that that Andrea chick wasn't interested in me. I had already met her in my mind. And we got along great. She was my beautiful little girl. But it never happened. It was all in my mind. I wonder what it was that she didn't like about my e-mail. Should I have included my pic? I fantasize about her loving my pic. But I know that realistically, she has no reason to like it. I want that perfect girl so bad. But it's almost like I'm destined to be alone forever.

Mariners Game

Tuesday, April 3rd, 2001 @ Safeco Field

Oakland Athletics - 5

Seattle Mariners - 1

Attendance - 27,212 / Duration - 2:57

Highlights:

• Miguel Tejada homered for the Athletics.

Game Details

Definitions

Joy is watching the Mariners win the World Series, then collecting all the money I won from bets.

Jealousy is hearing about Brad Pitt and how "sexy" he is.

Sorrow is knowing that I will probably outlive my family.

Loneliness is realizing you've never had a girlfriend/boyfriend, and you're 82 years old.

Desire is a cop driving by a doughnut shop.

Ecstasy is winning a $100 million lottery, then going home to spend a passionate evening with your good-looking wife/husband.

Love is sending roses for no apparant reason.

Guilt is slamming into a deer on the highway, then watching the carcass roll several times.

Hate is watching an arrogant jerk date the love of your life.

Hope is when she/he smiles when you walk by.

Boredom is watching the ants on the sidewalk mate with each other.

Paranoia is being trapped in a small cave, along with 40 tarantulas.

Success is acheiving all your goals, and being happy with your life.

Thrill is watching your favorite team in the playoffs.

Depression is a bottomless pit you can't find your way out of.

Bitterness is when you have an invention idea, but someone else starts a company with it and makes a fortune.

Security is not having to impress people to feel better about yourself.

Urge is when you want to beat the living piss out of a bully, but you don't want to sink to his level.

Greed is otherwise known as 'Money'.

Longing is like shorting, only longer.

Fear is the thought of growing up alone and bitter.

Anxiety is when you're in the middle of a Los Angeles traffic jam, and you're constipated.

Selfishness is killing a living creature just to improve your own self-esteem.

Failure is finding the girl/guy of your dreams, but no matter what you do, you can't get her/his attention.