Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Malt Balls

I just had this great idea... You know when you finish your monthly meds and you're left with all these empty plastic containers that are too useless to keep around, but far too rad to throw away? I started thinking... what if I walked around a city park looking for rabbit turds, found a way to mummify them, and filled each of those med bottles up with them? Then I could white out certain parts of the labels and rewrite them. That way, when I have visitors over and they inevitably snoop through my medicine cabinet, they'll find them and wonder why I have a prescription for 40MG mummified rabbit turds. And then if they confront me about it, I'd explain that I was once bitten by a Peruvian hare, and this is the only known counter-agent. Then I'd pick up one of the bottles and take one in front of them, not telling them that particular bottle is actually full of tiny malt balls.

And I know what you're thinking: How would the medicine cabinet smell after three months or so? Well, probably not good. But hey, it's a bathroom and those usually stink anyway.

By the way, therapy is going well.

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