Out Of Touch

Confidence...pride... happiness... contentment... peace... calm... phased-in...

These are all things I have never touched. I've understood the words. I've understood the concepts... But after three and a half decades, I've still yet to feel them.

Someday.

Someday... I will. If even for a moment.

This is my goal.

When they ask the question, "If you could be anything or anybody, what would you be?"...

"I would be me.", is how I'd answer.

Today's Thought

How would you like to be a rookie on his first day on the bomb squad?

"Don't screw up, kid."

I

I
I want
I want to improve
I want to improve the world
I want to improve
I want
I

Elusive Gift

I think one of the main things that keeps me frustrated are the questions I find myself often pondering: What if I have a gift? What could that gift be?

Who's to say I'm not the greatest ice-skater who's ever lived? ... Or a song-writer with the potential to save a million lives? Who's to say I can't bake a cake that a thousand stomachs have longed for? ... Or that I don't have a set of MVP trophies on my mantle in some parallel universe?

How would anybody ever know?

I've never tried those things. ... Or applied myself to those things.

The talent could be there; if I had only tried. But we'll never know. Another wasted opportunity.

I suppose in some way, it never really mattered anyway. In the blink of any given eye, we could be wiped clean by a supernova. Everything we are and everything we have ever known... gone. Returned to the stars.

What would matter then?

Underneath

Try to take a closer look before you make assumptions about others. What lies on the surface is often very different than what lives in the core. Beauty can hide ugliness. A smile can mask a life-long torment. A laugh can blanket a deep sadness. Envious lives can often be filled with pain and regret. A strong body can hide an inner weakness, just as a weak body can contain more strength than one could ever comprehend...

Sometimes the worst urge we have as social beings to assume we know everything about a person before we even talk to them. We are wrong. One thing I've learned in this world is that people often have a way of surprising you.

Today's Thought

...or if my name was Richard, I would totally strut into my bank holding a handful of ones and fives while excitedly claiming, "I'm rich!!! And I'm here to make a deposit!". Then, when the teller asks me my name, I can say: "I already told you. I'm Rich. Weren't you paying attention just then?".

Today's Thought

I was just thinking that I'm glad my birth name wasn't "Jimmy Smallwood" or something. If it was, that would have sucked. Then I would have had to go through the process of changing it later in life; probably to something more like "Peter Plentywood".