All Good In The Hood

It's been too long since my last post. The reason being that things have been going well lately. I'm working part-time - currently full-time actually - at a hospital in Lewiston, which is probably one of the most comfortable jobs I've had yet. The worst part about it is the half-hour commute, but I don't mind it so much anyway. It gives me some listen-to-music-and-chill time.

Dian and I are doing great. We're happy, and we're still making improvements in every aspect of our lives. So many projects are in the works, one of which includes an epic updating with this blog. I plan to fill in the holes... as many as possible. Please be patient.

In two weeks, Di and I will be heading back to Las Vegas for a much needed vacation. We'll spend eight nights there, see as much as we can, walk everywhere, and have a ton of fun in the process. On our second day, we're also taking a tour-bus out to the Grand Canyon, which we've always wanted to see for ourselves. There will be lots and lots of pictures from the whole vacation either way, I assure you.

More to come. Stay tuned.

Today's Thought

When people ask me if I believe in God, I don't immediately answer, "No.".

Instead, I tell them, "I will when I finally have a reason to."

Today's Thought

I think it would be interesting if Dr. Feelgood and Dr. My Eyes opened up a clinic together.

Enough Already*

Atheists, for the most part, have been misunderstood for centuries.

I want the bridge to be extended between atheism and christianity. I want the heavy walls of extreme views of either side, thinned and chipped. I want the broken and arrogant centerfield fence to be pulled back to reality. It's finally time to clear things up and open a reliable channel for communication.

There are millions of atheists in the world, and the number grows each and every day. This is a fact. You can argue with it, you can deny it, but at the end of the day it remains a scientific fact. Do what you have to do to live with it.

I am one. Only one of millions. So I can speak only as one of an enormous collective. I can only generalize. I can only say that I am aware that there are always exceptions... no matter the rule. And I must only say that does not discount the rule.

[to be continued...]

Today's Thought

People call me crazy because I'm not looking to Heaven for hope and inspiration. I'm looking to the stars beyond it.

Torn v2.0

There's not much that's more depressing than coming back home to feel like a complete failure.

I work at Safeway now. It's nothing exciting, just the most basic job there... but it's a job. I'm quickly coming to the conclusion that I am going to be miserable at any job as long as I am working. So now I can't help thinking: If I'm going to be miserable at a job, I may as well be miserable at my last job that payed much better. The one I have right now pays me shit.

I'm thinking of exploring a career in music. Perhaps radio? I'm not much of a personality, but I believe my knowledge and taste in many genres of music might qualify me for something interesting. At least that way I might feel like I'm contributing something useful to this world, as misguided as that thought might be.

I love Dian more than anything. That's why it's so hard for me to feel like I am failing her as a husband; as a decision-maker (never my strong suit). I want us to be happy and content, in a place that we can finally call our own, and not have to live out of boxes anymore. But I wonder... did we make the right choice moving to Idaho? Was it really the best choice we should have made for ourselves? According to everyone else, it was. In my heart, I'm not so sure. We could be happy anywhere. Then again, we all know that happiness comes from within.

I'm still searching for mine.

Sponge > Brick

I was reading an article today in Rolling Stone about drug trafficking and the Mexican cartels. It was interesting. As I began the article's second page, I was still interested with the context. By the time I approached the end of that page, however, I suddenly realized that I had no clue what I had just read. The words were being read from the page, but they were not being absorbed.

So I began the page again...

Upon finishing the first column of text for the second time, I still had not retained any of the information.

As I have suspected many times before, I have a difficult time reading much of anything. My mind wanders. While my eyes read, my brain focuses on something else completely irrelevant to the context. At times, this is extremely frustrating for me. It gives me the false sense that reading is generally a waste of time. Then again, this same thing often happens to me with movies and television shows. For some reason, I can hardly remember much about them until I see them a second time. I guess you could say: The average person has a nice, big sponge in their brain. They use this sponge to soak up all of the information around them, apply it to memory, and then wring out the unwanted leftovers. Somehow, instead of a sponge, I ended up with a brick. All I can retain is any insignificant piece of information that sticks to it. Most falls off immediately before I can absorb any of it.