In Time

It is my theory that there is no true "present" time. Our system of time can be broken gradually into infinite fractions. Years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds, hundredths of seconds... etc. As soon as you claim any given time as "the present", the moment is already gone. And that very same moment is now in the past.

On another note, the future has not happened yet. And when it does, it will immediately become the past. So one could argue that there technically is no "future" either. It is only an abstract idea. A dream of what could be, what might be... what will be. Unfortunately, my friend, the future is not guaranteed... so we must not blindly assume it exists.

Maybe there is only the past. A universal log of what has happened so far. Perhaps everything else is mere speculation.

Rockin' The Sea-Town

As you probably know, I had the opportunity to go see Ben Folds last night, downtown at The Paramount theater. Very cool...
Since the show was to start at eight, I headed out at six; giving me the usual two hours to get there, park and find my seat. From the last few concerts downtown I've gone to, it seems to be the perfect time to leave. And getting there was a complete breeze this time. I knew exactly where I was going, where to park and how much the parking would cost. I'm catching on quickly. So it's nice to know on some level that I don't need to worry so much about pre-concert transportation anymore.
I arrived at the Paramount entrance about five minutes before they started letting people in. When they did, I went up to the mezzanine and got a Bacardi to sip on while waiting for the show. I found a nice little spot on the floor to sit and observe people while enjoying my drink. It was quite surprising to see the majority of people were under 20. I expected the audience to be slightly older (mostly 20-30) for some reason. That'll work though... more Bacardi for me. Unfortunately, at $7 for a little cup of mostly ice, they weren't exactly a bargain. So I waited until the show was about to start before having one more.
My seat was in the second row of the first mezzanine. Slightly off to the right side of the theater. Great seat. This is where I like to sit when I go to The Paramount (although I prefer to be as close to center stage as I can get).
The show started with a guy by the name of Chris Mills. He is a solo artist with only an electric guitar at his side. Although he didn't play for very long, I thought his performance was interesting. Simple, yet entertaining. But still, Ben was obviously the star of the show...
Okay, so once again I didn't write down the set list. Besides, most of the night's material was from Ben's solo stuff, which I admit to not having yet. :( But it's definitely some great stuff, so I totally plan on picking whatever he's released very soon. (All I have so far is Ben Folds Five's Whatever And Ever Amen, which is a fantastic album!
Ben was joined by a drummer and a bass player, both of whom joined him to create some impressive three-part harmonies throughout the night. Great musicians! Deep into the set, the other two guys left Ben alone with us to do some softer stuff. A hell of a pianist he is... He did this cool effect where he played with one hand and muted the piano strings with the other; giving his keys this kind of plucking sound that resembled a guitar. Very cool! And he's funny as hell too. At one point, he admitted to worrying about what to say to us in between songs, and how he didn't want to just sound like an asshole.
The greatest part was when the band came back, and Ben talked about his theory of knowing when a song stands up to being a quality one. This, he says, is when you can sing a song out loud in an Irish pub and not get the shit beat out of you by crazy drunks. It was then that they played a soft jazzy cover of the untitled bonus track on Dr. Dre's classic album The Chronic. In which, the audience - the majority of which was under 20 remember - happily sang along to the line "Bitches can't hang with the streets". It was hilarious. Afterwards, Ben talked about how he's been writing a soundtrack to a new movie geared towards a younger generation. The name of the film escapes me at the moment, but he played some interesting stuff from that as well.
During the final song, he had the audience split into groups and singing along with him in three-part harmonies. He got up and stood on his paino to direct us, as a great conductor would. with his hands near his feet, suggesting we start out low, he would slowly raise them until they were high above his head. Playing with our voices for his amusement, as if his hands controled the pitch bar of our collective choir. He even moved his arms up and down quickly after awhile just to fuck with us. lol But we kept right with him. It was awesome. : ) Ranging from low to high, it was really amazing to hear the voices coming from ourselves, a group of everyday people with one thing in common... the love of music. Something about that I found incredibly beautiful and inspiring.
As much as I admire John Lennon (and that's a hell of a lot), I'm beginning to wonder if he was slightly off when he penned All You Need Is Love. Because it seems to me that a more accurate claim would be... all you need is music.
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Afterthought:
Upon checking Ben's official site before the concert, I noticed that his following performance (actually starting about this very moment) is in a town called Moscow, Idaho. My hometown. How eerie that coincidence is, especially since we hardly ever get any big names to play there. I find that incredibly interesting, yet somehow I'm disappointed I can't be there. I should be.

Mix CD #19

New mix CD. Here it is (in order):

• "The District Sleeps Alone Tonight" - The Postal Service
• "Doralice" - Stan Getz & Joao Gilberto
• "Across The Avenue" - Freedy Johnston
• "Wish I" - Jem
• "She Comes 'Round" - Fastball
• "Time For Letting Go" - Jude Cole
• "Just One Night" - Cassie (feat. Ryan Leslie)
• "See You Next Lifetime" - Erykah Badu
• "Haitian Divorce" - Steely Dan
• "Feels So Right" - Janet Jackson
• "Do You Remember?" - Phil Collins
• "Rendezvous" - Craig David
• "If You've Got Trouble" - The Beatles
• "Constant Craving" - K.D. Lang
• "Get Down On It" - Kool & The Gang
• "Good Night" - The Beatles

I'm really loving reggae lately. "Haitian Divorce" is a current favorite. I can't seem to get the damn song out of my head; the last minute or so in particular. I'm thinking of putting together a "Ragu Mix", so I'll be gradually rounding up some nice reggae stuff. I'm in the process of checking out some new reggae I've never listened to before, because frankly, I just love the style and I'd love to discover more of it.

Atypical Content

Yes, I do realize my posts tend to be saturated in dismay and disappointment. And while I'm not going to apologize for it and begin writing phony and insincere material, I do think it's a good idea to mix things up a bit. Variety is a dear friend. It keeps things interesting. In this case, at least for me...

So inspired by a friend, here is a list of things I'm very happy and/or excited about recently:

• Plans are in the early stages to get a new roommate in a few short months. Nothing against my current one (she's a great roommate), but a new situation was recently made available to me. A friend, whom I've not gotten much of a chance to get to know yet but feel we have much in common, is struggling back home and is considering a move out this way. I can think of so many ways how rooming together would be the perfect situation for both of us. I truly believe we can help each other out in my ways. As far as when this move might happen... we don't know yet. It depends on a few things. But I do know it won't be any later than August. That's the very longest we'd possibly have to wait. So I'm really excited to see how those plans develop.
• I went out again last night and limited myself to a couple drinks. My justification for going there is now the desire to share some great music on the digital jukebox. In admitedly elitist fashion, I find myself sometimes feeling sorry for the average bar mate. Most of them seem so musically unaware and deprived... I have quietly stepped up and taken this task under my wing. And after being asked many questions about the songs blasting through the speakers ("Who is this?", "What's this one called? I like it.", etc), it seems all the more apparant to me that it needs to be done. People will fall in love with music again...
• I also passed up having a smoke with a couple of the bar locals. I admit, I've smoked a couple times with them, but just for the record, I've never had a sober smoke. And I insist that I will not let it become an addiction. (I quietly believe that addiction and lack of self-control is for the weak-minded). But I passed it up last night on the mere reaffirmation that it's just fucking disgusting. The smell lingers and stains your clothes. It's so rank. Plus, cigarette smoke gives me a terrible headache anyway. Sure, I'll still have an ocassional smoke now and then... just not with cigarettes anymore. I'm placing this on the list here only because it's one of those rare conclusions I've come to. Damn, that "jump to conclusions mat" turned out to be a really good purchase after all.
• I recently ordered (and received) The Beatles' "White Album". I've been meaning to pick it up for the longest time because many of my favorite Beatles tunes are on it: I Will, While My Guitar Gently Weeps, Helter Skelter, Julia, Blackbird, Dear Prudence, Mother Nature's Son, etc. (It's a double-disc album, if you don't know.) I've been on a real Beatles kick lately. I just watched their film Help! again yesterday, and a new bumper sticker is on its way to my mailbox. It will go right next to the NIN sticker on my car. :)
• I've been playing my guitar a bit more than usual lately. My hands only continue to improve in coordination and speed. Sometimes I can't believe I'm even playing what I hear my guitar spit out. It's very inspiring to realize you're making progress in something you've always wanted to improve.
• Also, for the first time in awhile, I feel like I'm making progress with my finances. After receiving my tax refund, I dumped off $400 of it into my Roth IRA. So that puts me at about $2500 in there so far. I know it's not much, but I basically just started. And I've decided to shoot for having a minimum of $4000 in there by the end of the year. Baby steps.
• I may not overly enjoy my job, but I do love the fact that I get to listen to music for most of the day. My entire morning consists basically of three or four albums that I listen to straight through. Because of this, I feel I'm becoming much more familiar with the music I've been discovering and digging. For instance, I've been listening to my two Zero 7 albums extensively. They are most excellent, and so I now consider Zero 7 to be among my favorite bands/artists. I love that mellow, bittersweet, jazz-inspired, groove-heavy stuff. :) I'm going to try and track down all of their other releases if I can...
• Next Saturday, I'm going to see Ben Folds downtown. I'm really looking forward to that! It'll be my second concert of the year (preceded only by the Coldplay/Fiona Apple show in late January). So far, it's been the year of some entertaining piano work, baby. Oh yeah.

Vehemence (Chapter 3)

Okay people, just to let you know, this month is pronouced Feb-RU-ary! NOT Feb-U-ary. It bugs the shit out of me when you either say it incorrectly or fail to spell it the way it should be spelled. And whenever I hear someone say it the wrong way, let's just say their true intellect is briefly exposed. (And the same thing goes for the spelling of Wed-NES-day. How hard is it really?!) Pop open a fucking dictionary sometime.

And while I'm on the subject of stupid shit coming out of peoples' mouths, are we about done with the phrase "talking smack"? It's such a dumbass saying. I don't understand why the hell it became so popular in the first place. Whenever I hear the term "smack", when not referring to a mildly violent hit, I always think of a stupid degenerate frog trying to sell me nasty-ass cereal.

...And what the fuck is up with the term "come with"? As in, "Hey, we're all going to the party. You should come with." This also sounds incredibly stupid. I'm always waiting for the moron to finish their sentence. Come with........ you? Someone else? Who exactly? Who am I "coming with"?? How difficult is it really to throw a "me" at the end of the sentence to make it complete and much less confusing? A two-letter word people, I think we can make the effort. It won't really put you out that much will it? Quit being fucking lazy. And start making more sense.

Not The Only One

I went out last night to the usual place. And I saw Jessi there again. (See 09/11/05 entry) She didn't have her glasses this time, but I still knew her instantly... Attraction goes beyond tiny physical details like that. She was with a guy I can only assume to be Joe, and we made brief eye contact, from which I had an overwhelming feeling that she didn't remember me at all. To borrow a line from American Beauty, "Oh it's okay, I wouldn't remember me either."

Basically, when I'm attracted to someone, our possible future together blazes through my mind in a lightning storm of lust. Within seconds, I live out every urge and desire with said person. That, I'm sure, explains why I am so frequently let down and disappointed by reality. Honestly, I don't know if I'm the only one who has these experiences, or if it's fairly normal thing. I do have my suspicions though... and they all point to me being nothing more than a dreamer.

Jigsaw (Intoxication Remix)

I'm not sure whether I'm happy or sad. Most likely somewhere in between the two...

Jen and I basically broke up earlier this week. We are on "a break", which to me, seems to mean we're done. Say goodbye to five years of memories. It's a mutual thing, as we think it would be good for both of us for awhile. Basically, she introduced the idea and I agreed with it's validity. Besides, the pressure has been building, and it's apparant we have not been getting along as well as we should. Somehow, we ventured off onto our own paths; drastically different from each other's. And we want different things. What can you do? That's life.

I wish nothing but the best for her, I really do. I want her to find the one thing - whatever or whomever that may be - that makes her truly happy. That's what she deserves. In the meantime, we will remain casual friends. We will talk occasionally over the phone... perhaps even hang out and watch a movie or two. But no more spending nights together. No more kissing between her shoulder blades before we fall asleep. I cannot mold my body to hers for warmth during the night. Or run my fingertips lightly up and down her back. No more running my hand through her hair as she falls asleep... None of that. And I will miss it. I will miss it greatly.

If only I could find someone who wants to take over the position...