Jigsaw

Disconnect the dots. Open a new notepad. Take apart the puzzle of my life. Flip the pieces over and upside down. Mix them up and count to fifty...

Now, shove the heap of individual pieces back to me. Let me try this again. I want to make sure the edges are all where they should be. I want to know the corners are where I need them. Don't let me see the box, I want to use my imagination. This feels like a critical time. A time of opportunity. The ground beneath my feet is shaky but stable. And I will not give up today.

I am in the mood to start putting a beautiful puzzle together...

Confessions of A Person Who's All High

Yeah yeah, spare me the lectures. I'm all high.

For some odd reason, I feel the sudden urge to record my thoughts. Not neccessarily out of mockery, but rather out of my continuous curiosity. I'm not concerned about how stupid I may sound. We all know I crossed that line years ago. I am only looking to stay true to my thoughts... sober or not. It all comes from the same place. So here goes...

I am experiencing the strangest feeling lately. It's as if I know the answers to everything in the world... but I don't know the questions yet. An odd feeling of knowing everything that perhaps I'm not meant to yet. I'm sure somehow it's pure ego talking... what little of one I have. But I have to be honest, it's kind of nice to feel confidence in something for a change. I miss that.

Hey. You want to know how to know if you love something? You find it beautiful, inspiring and depressing all at the same time. Let's just say I must love many things...

Dismay

How sad it can be
so sad, yet so true
that i sleep alone
in a bed made for two

tossing and turning
with no hope for peace
while dreaming of pleasure,
content and release

you say there is meaning
for people like me
but how would you know
you don't see what i see

and until you do
you can never quite know
why the torture inside us
continues to grow

of course there are moments
when life is more fair
but those very times
seem frustratingly rare

but still i foresee
that our lives will begin
as soon as we harness
the joy from within

V-Day

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

There was a conference of executives. All the top guys and gals from Hallmark, Russell Stover, Zales and 1-800-FLOWERS were there. Here's the summary of the meeting:

"Ladies and gentlemen, our businesses are not taking off like we originally hoped. I suggest we create a new holiday to help promote our wonderful products; a way to force guilt and obligation into the minds of the consumer sheep out there. It'll work, I swear! Who's with me?"

I guess I just don't get the point of Valentine's Day anymore. Perhaps I do understand the intention - a day to celebrate love - and I can appreciate that more than anyone can. But I'm tired of all the misconceptions surrounding this overrated day. And no, I'm not bitter because I'm alone blah blah blah, or anything like that. So don't bother going there.

It's just that Valentine's day is anything but romantic. Romance equals spontaneity. There is nothing spontaneous or romantic about feeling obligated to do something for your supposed "love". These flowers, these cards and these chocolates are not given out of sheer affection. They are given out of expectation; a way to feel like a duty was fulfilled. Well, I say it's all insincere, meaningless bullshit. And here's a question for you... If two people are so "in love", why do they celebrate it only once a year? I like to think that if I found the right person I would shower them with loving attention every chance I get. I would surprise her with an impromptu ticket to paradise. I'd bring her home or cook her dinner when she least expects it. I'd give her a small gift on June 3rd. You may be asking, "What's June 3rd?". My point exactly... Love isn't supposed to be on a schedule. It's supposed to be in the moment. But maybe I'm the only one who thinks that way...

Oh and just for the record, men don't particularly enjoy Valentine's Day. It's primarily for the woman's benefit. She gets to be wined and dined and showered with gifts. He gets... to pay for it. Oh sure, if a married man is lucky, he might get his yearly blowjob later on that night. And maybe even *GASP* sex after that! He can dream, can't he?

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Here are some random bonus observations regarding Valentine's Day:

• V-Day rhymes with "D-Day".
• The initials for Valentine's Day is 'VD'.
• It's exactly halfway through the shortest month of the year.
• That Cupid character is stupid. And 'Cupid' rhymes with 'stupid'. Coincidence??

Comic Of The Day

(click image to make larger)

Mix CD #18

Personal mix #18 goes like this:

• "Homme" - Brazilian Girls
• "Freedom Of Choice" - Devo
• "Cold Again" - Freedy Johnston
• "Have You Got It In You?" - Imogen Heap
• "Man In A Shed" - Nick Drake
• "Homesick" - The Vines
• "Curiosity" - Aaron Hall
• "Coconut" - Harry Nilsson
• "China Love" - Janet Jackson
• "Human Beings" - Seal
• "Disney Town" - Mono
• "Come On Closer" - Jem
• "Black Cow" - Steely Dan
• "Sirenes De La Fete" - Brazilian Girls
• "P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)" - Michael Jackson
• "Everlasting Love" - Howard Jones

... Of the recent songs I've loved, one that sticks out as beyond excellent is Nick Drake's "Man In A Shed". The song alone has already inspired me to pick up the full album it's on, as well as quite possibly the rest of his library. Add Nick Drake to my lengthy list of favorite artists... In fact, let's also add Freedy Johnston... he's got some amazing stuff himself. Check them both out if you haven't yet.

Nothing But The Truth

If I were to ask you, "What time is it?", what would be your reply? If I asked you the current year, you'd no doubt be able to tell me.

...or would you?

In case you've never really thought much about it, nobody knows what time it really is. The system that tells us it's 2006... we made it up long ago. We've only created a way to keep track of time. A system in which to record the otherwise random events in everyday life. It's really no more complex than that. But more simply, we just don't know when time began.

When did it begin? How was Earth created? Where did animals come from? How did we get here? And when? What is our purpose? How long will we be here? Will our species have a chance to thrive? Are we alone in the universe? Is there a god? Or an afterlife? If so, what is it like? How long will we be there? ... So many questions, so much left unanswered.

People will believe anything. Somewhere out there is a made-up explanation for any question you might have. Yet still, regardless of whatever your belief system happens to be, there is only one pure truth when it comes to all of these questions. And that truth ... is that no one knows.

People will tell you all sorts of things; desperately persuading you to adopt certain beliefs. Yet, there are so many conflicting viewpoints in the world, how can we logically validate any of them? You may believe in a god; I may not. You may believe extra-terrestrials visit us often. I might see us as a gradual product of alien life. You see Earth as one of a kind. I see it as one of billions out there. The truth is that we are both neither right nor wrong. We are merely speculating. We're playing the universal game of Trivial Pursuit and arguing over our guesses... before the answer on the card is even read.

We don't know. And we likely never will. The best we can do is to think for ourselves and come to our own conclusions as to what makes the most sense... even if we don't all agree on certain details. And until we are serious about doing this, we will not prosper.


(Welcome to my thoughts. Make yourself comfortable.)